Mud What?
by DracoDew17
Summary: Draco, Hermione, and some mud. "Unresolved sexual tension. Those two have it in spades."


A/N: This is quite a change for me. A humorfic written as a drabble request for itsbeenvery. The list of requirements is below. Just a short and sweet little scenario, hope you enjoy!

Here's the rundown:

Pairing: D/Hr, implied Prof.Sprout/her plants, as well as some Hannah/Ernie  
Rating: PG-13 (probably more PG than 13)

Genre: General/Humor

1. Greenhouse (class time or other)

2. Clumsy!Draco

3. Shortage of clean linen

**Mud What?**

"Professor Sprout?"

"Mmmm…"

"Professor Sprout?!" Draco didn't think he'd been more embarrassed in his life and he thought he detected a note of desperation in his voice. A large number of snickers could be heard behind him in the sixth year Herbology class taking place in Greenhouse Four.

"Mmmm…"

Trembling with humiliation and anger, he decided it was time for drastic measures.

"You _batty_ woman! Stop _stroking_ your plant and _PAY ATTENTION!!!_"

Professor Sprout turned from caressing her new Hibernating Hibiscus to see her student, the young Malfoy boy, splattered from head to toe in mud. Her eyebrows disappeared up into her hairline.

"Goodness boy, what happened?"

Draco mumbled something under his breath.

"What was that?"

"I fell, okay! I went to get my clippers and I tripped over a pot and fell by the Water Daisies where it's _always_ muddy."

More snickers accompanied his explanation.

"So, do you have another work robe for me to use?"

Professor Sprout plastered a sympathetic smile on her face. "I'm afraid not, dear. This class is full to capacity and I don't have any extras."

Draco tried not to let the sag in his shoulders show. "Can I go back up to the castle to change, then?"

"Class isn't over, Mr. Malfoy. You'll just have to make due until your break, I'm sorry."

Draco glared at his teacher before making his way back to his seat mumbling something that sounded very much like "I just bet you are" under his breath.

He was just about to pass Mudblood Granger when she piped up.

"So, Malfoy," sounding as if she was discussing something as inane as the weather, "who's the muddy one now?"

Bright pink spots flushed his cheeks as he tried to come up with a witty comeback.

"At least, it's not in my blood, Granger." He sneered.

She glared at him from beneath that rat's nest she called hair.

Settling back down next to the plant they were working on for the day, he suddenly had a brilliant idea.

Draco grabbed up a handful of mud from the ground and threw it at the back of Granger's head.

"Eee!"

Her hand came back caked with the stuff when she reached up to touch her hair. She slowly turned in her seat with venom in her eyes.

Draco was having a hard time keeping still, he wanted to laugh so much.

"That mud looks good on you, really brings out your eyes."

Hermione narrowed her eyes and sprang towards him without preamble.

They commenced to rolling around on the ground. Draco was pulling at Hermione's hair and she was trying to slap away his hands.

As everyone gathered around to watch the rather pathetic display, two Hufflepuffs, Ernie Macmillian and Hannah Abbott, stood off to side as they observed from a safe distance discussing the antics of the blonde-haired Slytherin and the know-it-all Gryffindor.

"How often do they do this?"

"At least three times a week."

"It's amazing they just don't give in and kill each other."

"It's just UST."

Ernie looked at his girlfriend doubtfully. "What's UST?"

"Unresolved sexual tension. Those two have it in spades." She sighed the way hopeless romantics do and completely missed the look of disgust on her counterpart's face.

"_Malfoy and Granger?! Are you mad?!_"

"Of course not. You'll see. One of these days they'll look into each other's eyes during one of their fights and each will see the suppressed longing in the other's. Then, there will be snogging and ripping clothes abound."

Ernie shook his head. "You women and your ideas about sex."

Hannah ignored that comment.

They continued to watch the fight between the two now completely mud-covered teenagers.

Professor Sprout sat in the corner stroking her plant as she cooed to it, oblivious to everything else.

_Fin._

A/N: Review my pretties! Cuz it's my crack. :)


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